I quit my job~

Okay so I thought “take a break, see if the writing and their emails posted on line might have made things worse” NOT!!!!!

Life just sucks around here.

This month is the anniversary of my employment here at the motel. 6 years

It’s the 34th year anniversary of my husband and I meeting. The month we decided hey we want to spend the rest of our lives together.

It is also what would have been our 31st wedding anniversary.

Let’s starting with the shortest anniversary.

My job sucks, the manager is hateful, after hanging in there for all these years I have had enough. I gave my 2 week notice. The manager pops off with I should have let you go awhile back. Owner says I’m not going anywhere. I am the most reliable employee he has ever had. Everyone makes mistakes and he said he pointed that out to the manager. I knew for sure I had to leave March 30th. An employee meeting from hell. Guest call wanting to speak to me. They say they will wait until they can. Why is that my fault? She said she was sick of hearing my name. She accused me of changing rates and that guest said I was doing so. My response ” Did you go back and look it up?” Guess not. We were told at the meeting there would be no fucking questions and she would be the only one talking. She was angry that I assured a guest that we were concerned for their safety ( seedy motel across the street sends their guest to our breakfast.) Manager was hoping to convert a conference room to do so, room key or lobby entrance only. I am going to be written up for discussing motel business. I am accused of damaging a relationship with someone we both know, I am informed that I am being demoted. Told her fine, came with no raise or authority and was in name only ( she hit me with that one another time she was angry) I let her know I didn’t wear the name tag anyway as I knew that. My fellow peers refer to me as her punching bag. we have a love hate I am the boss relationship. My health can’t take anymore, doctors yelling I should have quit long ago. I know that, but who was going to pay the health insurance I had to go to work to help pay???????

So I am quitting my job. I am terrified!! I do not have a job in the hole!! Well maybe, but not sure. She has informed the 3 of us that have given notice we cant l leave until there is a trained replacement  Damn I told her I would not leave her in a lurch and extended my notice to 3 weeks. Another relationship and anniversary in the toilet


Maybe a fight between them?

From: husband@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Jan 15, 2009 at 12:04 AM
To: Amber@gmail.com>

Amber, uh oh what happened to sweetheart?

You might not be offended (your latest responses appear to dictate otherwise), but now I am deeply offended. After all we have been through I would like to know when were you planning to tell me about your decision? Why didn’t you talk to me first? Were you just going to let me continue to email/chat until I got tired of your failing to respond. You’ve written that I was breaking our agreement because I wanted to chat more than once a week. Apparently, you wanted to go the opposite direction and stop emailing all together, but you didn’t have the strength to mention it to me. It seems to me that in your actions have displayed a lack of concern for me and my feelings…and after all this has ended up costing me in the long run. Because of your clipped response on Sunday I was wondering what was the matter. I want to know what is really going on? Why didn’t you find away to talk at that time? Wifes nik name wasn’t there, so we could have talked. Then I got today’s email from you and noticed that it was also very clipped. Again, I have you to be honest with me and let me know what is really going on?

The last time we chatted you did not give me any indications that you wanted to stop emailing, matter of fact, I thought we were enjoying ourselves.

Now my doubts have reentering the picture. What were your true feelings for me? Was I just entertainment for the nights while your husband was asleep? I have been told by others that know about the situation that I should not read too much into our relationship because you move on leaving a wake of destruction. Obviously, you are not the same person that I spent my time getting to know and love.

There, I said my piece. I know that when we communicate by email we often misinterpret the meaning. If I have misinterpretted what is going on then I’m sorry, but I think I can read between the lines. If you feel I am not understanding what is going on and want to discuss this in person just let me know a time and place
From: Amber Her lastname<amberjo23@yahoo.com>
Date: Thu, Jan 15, 2009 at 8:11 AM
To: Husband@gmail.com>

Husbands first name,

I am sorry to have hurt you.  I was short on Sunday because pastor was watching.  Why are you trying to jab at me?  Wake of destruction?  “Others” apparently don’t have any idea who I am.  I don’t go around ruining things and I have no reputation of that except for this one thing with you.  So I don’t know what you’re talking about and who “others” are. No, you were never a joke or cheap entertainment.

I have told you what’s really going on.  I got convicted, that’s all.  Nothing against you.  I just have to change the way I was previously doing things.  I am truly sorry for all the pain and hurt I’ve caused you and everyone.  Please don’t turn this into something ugly.  I’m trying to do the right thing here.

I didn’t have the strength to write you and tell you…you are right.  I was planning on telling you when I had the strength to do so.  Alot of deep introspection has been happening inside me and that’s why I wasn’t ready to say anything yet.

You are a wonderful person.  I am sorry for the pain I’ve caused.  I really am.  I don’t want to be causing pain in anyone’s life anymore.  Please forgive me if you can.


From: Husband@gmail.com>
Subject: Read when alone.
To: “Amberquai@gmail.com>
Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 12:04 AM

From: Husband@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Jan 15, 2009 at 11:02 AM
To: amberjo23@yahoo.com

I just finished reading your email and at this time I don’t know what to think, say,do, or believe. At least a couple of times a week, including last night, Wife reminds me that I need to deal with my feelings for you. Obviously haven’t been able to do so. Yes, I am hurt. I do have to apologize for the tone of my email, but your chosing to communication by email was taking the easy way out and a cheap way of conveying a message of this nature to somebody you proclaimed to love… thus my doubts. I understand that a person should sleep on things before responding to hurtful things.  I probably shouldn’t have answered last night, or even at this time, but should have waited a couple of days. It is just at this particular time this was the last thing I needed. Maybe I should just shut up.


Chat away Amber, her first wet dream, bless her heart

This one is a long one. Bless her heart she had her first wet dream…

From: pez <Amber@gmail.com>
To: Husband@gmail.com

10:05 AM me: hi

10:06 AM Amber: hey

 me: how are you

 Amber : ok, how are you?

 me: I’m doing alright

 Amber: good

10:07 AM me: Saw your dad, my best friend and maybe your grandmother at the church New Years thing

 Amber: great

 me: You didn’t show

10:08 AM  Amber: I didn’t know what time it was

  what time was it?

 me: It ran from 7 pm to a little after 10

10:09 AM typing with one hand

 Amber: Oh, well I drove by around 11 something with Jara but everyone was gone

  why typing with one hand? did you hurt it?

 me: no, drinking tea with the other

  Amber: oh

10:10 AM so how are you dealing with our decision?

 me: didn’t know I was so talented

 Amber: yeah, me neither!

 me: Sometimes great other times not so great

10:11 AM  Amber: oh

 me: How are you doing with it

  Obviously we are both here today

 Amber: ya

 me: Miss me yet?

  Amber: ya

10:12 AM I think it’s getting easier as the days go on for me

  but i was curious if you were thinking about me so that’s why i was online

10:13 AM me: Odd, same here

 Amber: ya

 me: Check it everyday

 Amber: ya


 me: Sad isn’t it

 Amber: ya

  how’s the wife?

10:14 AM me: The ankle thing is taking its toll. I fell and tore all the tendon’s and ligaments in my ankle

 Amber: i’m sorry.

  did she read the 2 emails i sent her? and did you? I have already posted her emails to me here

10:15 AM me: Yes, she did. I have not

 k6quai: is she still mad at me?

10:17 AM me: Yeah she is still mad at both of us. Somedays are better than others.

 Amber: oh.

  well now I’m bummed because it’s only monday and we’ve already used up our 1 time a week to talk 😦

10:18 AM me: She is having trouble getting past somethings

  Amber: visuals?

 me: Yes, and dreams.

 Amber: oh gosh!

  that’s not good!

10:19 AM I have had bad dreams about her too!

 me: Can I inquire?

 Amber: just me screwing things up again when I thought we were finally getting somewhere good

  losing her trust once again….

10:20 AM then we had sex


 me: How was it for you

 Amber: haha

  i had my first “wet dream” though!!!

  it was great!

10:21 AM me: Now your kidding me

 Amber: nope

 me: really

 Amber: yeah



  i woke up and “bodda bing-bodda boom!

10:22 AM i didn’t even have to work for it!!! 🙂

 me: Interesting

10:23 AM Your welcome, anytime I can help.

 Amber: who said it had anything to do with you?


 me: Guess I jumped to a conclusion, sorry.

  Amber: ha

10:24 AM me: Well tell me about it

 Amber: I really don’t remember what the dream was about

  I don’t know who was even in it

  i just woke up and “BAM!”

  not wifes name!

10:25 AM me: That response and you didn’t remember the details.

 Amber: nope

10:26 AM me: Too bad,

 Amber: it’s okay with me

  i don’t want to remember the details!!

  because then I would have them as visuals to deal with

10:27 AM just a simple O is fine with me

10:28 AM me: The visuals might not be a bad thing 🙂

 Amber: ya ya


10:29 AM me: Makes work more interesting

 Amber: what work?


10:30 AM me: Visuals while you work…you know like in the Snow White movie

 Amber: hahahahahaha


  very cute

 me: I thought so

 Amber: so did you even bother trying to look at me yesterday?

10:31 AM me: I did, lots

 Amber: when? in the pew?

 me: Because I was greeting I was able to stand between the doors and look.

10:32 AM  Amber: while in the pew?

 me: A couple of times while in the pew. You weren’t looking at me.

 Amber: oh

10:33 AM i was totally checking you out like the whole time

 me: Liar

  Amber: i was jealous every time Wife touched you,,,then i would look to see the look on your face and how you were responding to her

  I was thinking, “I wonder what he’s thinking”

  “I wonder if he’s totally content with her?”

10:34 AM “I wonder if he wishes it was me?”

  “Why won’t he look at me?”

  “ughh…I need to get over him. God HELP ME!”

10:35 AM me: I even walked out the side door at the end of service so you could talk to me…but no you do the girl thing and chat for an hour

 Amber: what side door?

10:36 AM me: The one you usually leave by.

  Amber: I only have left by that one twice

  only because i was so teary eyed and mascara all over my face that I didn’t want to talk to anyone

  I didn’t know you did that!

  how charming! 🙂

10:38 AM me: Yeah, I parked out that door so Wifes nik name could use the ramp. knowing she would take forever I carried everthing out to the car by that door

 Amber: The only reason I kept talking was because I was hoping I could get a glimpse of you

  and you would catch a glimpse of me

  and we could see the fireworks in each other’s eyes!

10:39 AM I’m pathetic!!!!!!!!

 me: Aren’t we all

 Amber: ya

10:40 AM I peed in the amount of time it took you to write 3 measely words!

 me: Some how I got on the hard to see settings. Now everthing is huge.

  I trying to fix it

10:41 AM Doesn’t count when you use a bed pan

 k6quai: ha

  you  Amberdidn’t respond to my comment earlier. I said, “well now I’m bummed because it’s only monday and we’ve already used up our 1 time a week to talk”

10:42 AM me: That is because it is a guideline, not cast in concrete.

  How did you like that answer

  Amber: you suck

 me: No you do

10:43 AM k6quai: shut up


  you do too!

  my nipples were chapped!

  was that nice and huge for you


  I mean the writing

  on the screen

10:44 AM me: No I fixed it. But you need somebody to suck on your nipples more. We didn’t go the whole night

  Amber: ha

10:45 AM that kind of talk is inappropriate for only talking once a week!





10:46 AM me: Okay, nice weather we are having today.

  Isn’t it grand

  Amber: Um

  I was thinking more like…


 me: The way te sun is shining through the tree is wonderful

 Amber: are you feeling much better emotionall/spiritually/maritally about the “decision” we made?

10:47 AM me: That has nothing to do with conversation about the weather

  don’t change the subject

 Amber: quit dodging seriousness

 me: seriousness sucks

10:48 AM  Amberi: we already discussed that

  you suck


 me: You cannot talk to me like that. I’m sensitive

 Amber: The reason I like you is because you make me feel so special

10:49 AM me: You are

 Amber: liar

 me: Nooooooooooo, I’m not

 Amber: oh



  so really, do you you feel better?

 me: Sometimes yes and sometimes no

10:50 AM  Amber: ok

  thanks for the honesty

  it’s about time

  what about if we do something like go out to a secretive coffee once a month or something

  except in the eastern united states or something?

10:51 AM or maybe China?



 me: Works for me

 Amber: really?

 me: Not China

  Amber: japan?

 me: Japan is nice

10:52 AM k6quai: Oh common, where’s your excitement?

 me: Not the big city

 Amber: I know that’s something you need to keep you happy :0

 me: What

  Amber: excitement

 me: What kinda of excitement

10:53 AM  Amber: the same reason you had an affair…silly


  you were sick of monotany

  going through the motions


 me: Coffee isn’t exciting

 Amber: i know

10:54 AM but…oh nevermind

  you’re just going to be difficult

 me: Yep

  Why you love me

  Amber: 🙂


10:55 AM me: My chin hairs are growing back

 Amber: good!

  Remember, I want that car, and I want a pic of you in your uni


  I’ll pay you back for the car

 me: I trade you pictures

10:56 AM  Amber: you already have that

 me: Should of been I’ll trade you pictures

 Amber: I though you were going Asian on me or something! 🙂



  i can’t spell either


 me: Neither can I

10:57 AM  Amber: two peas in a pod

 me: That is why I use a computer

 Amber: ha

  so when do you have to get out of this thing? chatting?

 me: Don’t know

 Amber: oh

10:58 AM when you said it’s more like a guideline

  it reminded me of that movie we watched last night

  the first pirates of the carribbean

 me: I was going to say that you and I did not watch a movie last night

10:59 AM  Amberi: when Elizabeth begs for parlor or whatever that pirate code it and the pirate deceived her and then


  it takes too long


  he tricked her

  then she said “what about the code”

  and he said

11:00 AM “it’s more like a guideline!”

  and then laughed

  then we watched “eagle eye” last night too

  it was very very full of action

  it’s funny.

  movies usually always make me think of my life spiritually

11:01 AM even though they have nothing to do with it

  I almost always come away from a movie thinking about my life and how thankful I am in some spiritual sense

  wow i just talked alot!

11:02 AM me: Yes you did

  More like typed alot

 Amber: so if you have to sign out really quick……

  i really enjoyed your company and I’ll look forward to next week

11:03 AM me: You know I’ll check everyday 🙂

 Amber: don’t tempt me

 me: Just being honest

 Amber: shit

11:04 AM me: Honesty is the best policy. Not a guideline

 Amber: oh so professional are we?

11:05 AM me: Nope, or I wouldn’t be here now

  I be working

11:06 AM  Amber: so i’ve been meaning to ask you about that? Don’t you find out on the 7th?

 me: I find out something on the 7th

11:07 AM others have told me of other options

  like riding off into the sunset and becoming a super hero

 Amber: cool~

  I love your sense of humor!

11:08 AM the ability to make people laugh is very important!


 me: My brother told me that he could get me a job on a fishing boat in the Bearing Sea. Pay is great, work sucks

11:09 AM Oh, where did you go

11:13 AM I’m going to get tea now

 Amber: ok

 me: Wait a minute

11:14 AM Back. Where did you go

11:15 AM  Amber: boss is talking to me

  gotta be careful

11:16 AM me: Say hi for me

 Amber: sure

 me: Work gets in the way of so much

 Amber: she’ll be in view of my computer here in a sec

11:17 AM me: Then have her say hi

  We could chat a while

  I could tell her a few thing


11:22 AM  Amber: 🙂

 me: So, do you need me to go

11:23 AM You do need to work I’m sure

11:24 AM  Amber: ya

 me: Well then I’ll talk to you later

11:25 AM Next time remember who was in your wer dream

11:27 AM  Amber: ok

11:28 AM haha

  do you have those?

 me: Not for many years

  Amber: oh

6 minutes

11:35 AM me: Bye.
From: pez < Amber@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jan 5, 2009 at 11:47 AM
To: husband@gmail.com

These messages were sent while you were offline.

11:47 AM  Amber: bye. sorry 🙂 talk to you next week!
From: husband@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jan 5, 2009 at 12:52 PM
To: pez <

<(Playing now).

That’s okay, but sorry you had to go. I understand the need for sudden disconnects. Keep in mind that we chatted from10:05 to approximately 11:30. Time flies when your having fun. Would have liked to chat longer. Remind me what is our current agreement. Was it that we would chat one day a week or once a week. If it is once then we have done that.    If it is one day a week then we have the rest of the day. Food for thought. Might be at church Wednesday night for one of the classes. I haven’t decided for certain. Hey, I still have a question or two. What church did you attend before Bethany? Why did you leave your last church? Just wondering.

C ya

11:47 AM pez: bye. sorry 🙂 talk to you next week!

From:  Amber@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jan 5, 2009 at 3:37 PM
To: Husband@gmail.com>

um, you said,
“Once a week is fine, but if we talk twice a week, then that will be reason for concern.”  Doesn’t look like Mr Pez will be sticking to his agreement, which makes it really hard for Mrs. Pez.  She like to follow the lead and has a hard time putting her foot down.

I left IBC because Cory doesn’t like it and his heart was always with Bethany.  They don’t allow speaking in tongues up there at ibc.  Why?  DId you think I was kissing older men and burning bridges up there?  GEEZ!  Stop that!  Well, I’m online now, so you have about 15 mins to catch me until next week.


Cute flowers and icons.
From: husband@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jan 5, 2009 at 6:47 PM
 Amber@gmail.com6 <>

You wrote: DId you think I was kissing older men and burning bridges up there? No, not at all. I was just curious.

You wrote: She like to follow the lead and has a hard time putting her foot down. Oh, come on. You like to stomp on the bug when you can.

ng chat~ Bless her heart she had her first wet dream…


Which cheater am I

This was the attachment to their last email~

Why men and woman cheat. Not all affairs are alike; some are even accidental.

Day after day in my office I see men and women who have been messing around. They lead secret lives, as they hide themselves from their marriages. They go through wrenching divorces, inflicting pain on their children and their children’s children. Or they make desperate, tearful, sweaty efforts at holding on to the shreds of a life they’ve betrayed. They tell me they have gone through all of this for a quick thrill or a furtive moment of romance. Sometimes they tell me they don’t remember making the decision that tore apart their life: “It just happened.” Sometimes they don’t even know they are being unfaithful. (I tell them: “If you don’t know whether what you are doing is an infidelity or not, ask your spouse.”) From the outside looking in, it is insane. How could anyone risk everything in life on the turn of a screw? Infidelity was not something people did much in my family, so I always found it strange and noteworthy when people did it in my practice. After almost 30 years of cleaning up the mess after other people’s affairs, I wrote a book describing everything about infidelity I’d seen in my practice. The book was Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy (Norton). I thought it might help. Even if the tragedy of AIDS and the humiliation of prominent politicians hadn’t stopped it, surely people could not continue screwing around after reading about the absurd destructiveness of it. As you know, people have not stopped having affairs. But many of them feel the need to write or call or drop by and talk to me about it. When I wrote Private Lies, I thought I knew everything there was to know about infidelity. But I know now that there is even more.

Accidental Infidelity

All affairs are not alike. The thousands of affairs I’ve seen seem to fall into four broad categories. Most first affairs are cases of accidental infidelity, unintended and uncharacteristic acts of carelessness that really did “just happen.” Someone will get drunk, will get caught up in the moment—will just be having a bad day. It can happen to anyone, though some people are more accident prone than others, and some situations are accident zones.

Many times a young man has started his career as a philanderer quite accidentally when he is traveling out of town on a new job with a philandering boss who chooses one of a pair of women and expects the young fellow to entertain the other. The most startling dynamic behind accidental infidelity is misplaced politeness, the feeling that it would be rude to turn down a needy friend’s sexual advances. In the debonair gallantry of the moment, the brazen discourtesy to the marriage partner is overlooked altogether.

Both men and women can slip up and have accidental affairs, though the most accident-prone are those who drink, those who travel, those who don’t get asked much, those who don’t feel very tightly married, those whose running buddies screw around, and those who are afraid to run from a challenge. Most are men.

After an accidental infidelity, there is clearly the sense that one’s life and marriage have changed. The choices are:

  1. To decide that infidelity was a stupid thing to do, to confess it or not to do so, but to resolve to take better precautions in the future;
  2. To decide you wouldn’t have done such a thing unless your husband or wife had let you down, put the blame on your mate, and go home and pick your marriage to death;
  3. To notice that lightning did not strike you dead, decide this would be a safe and inexpensive hobby to take up, and do it some more;
  4. To decide that you would not have done such a thing if you were married to the right person, determine that this was meant to be, and declare yourself in love with the stranger in the bed.

Romantic Infidelity

Surely the craziest and most destructive form of infidelity is the temporary insanity of falling in love. You do this, not when you meet somebody wonderful (wonderful people don’t screw around with married people) but when you are going through a crisis in your own life, can’t continue living your life, and aren’t quite ready for suicide yet. An affair with someone grossly inappropriate—someone decades younger or older, someone dependent or dominating, someone with problems even bigger than your own—is so crazily stimulating that it’s like a drug that can lift you out of your depression and enable you to feel things again. Of course, between moments of ecstasy, you are more depressed, increasingly alone and alienated in your life, and increasingly hooked on the affair partner. Ideal romance partners are damsels or “dumsels” in distress, people without a life but with a lot of problems, people with bad reality testing and little concern with understanding reality better.

Romantic affairs lead to a great many divorces, suicides, homicides, heart attacks, and strokes, but not to very many successful remarriages. No matter how many sacrifices you make to keep the love alive, no matter how many sacrifices your family and children make for this crazy relationship, it will gradually burn itself out when there is nothing more to sacrifice to it. Then you must face not only the wreckage of several lives, but the original depression from which the affair was an insane flight into escape.

People are most likely to get into these romantic affairs at the turning points of life: when their parents die or their children grow up; when they suffer health crises or are under pressure to give up an addiction; when they achieve an unexpected level of job success or job failure; or when their first child is born—any situation in which they must face a lot of reality and grow up. The better the marriage, the saner and more sensible the spouse, the more alienated the romantic is likely to feel. Romantic affairs happen in good marriages even more often than in bad ones.

Both genders seem equally capable of falling into the temporary insanity of romantic affairs, though women are more likely to reframe anything they do as having been done for love. Women in love are far more aware of what they are doing and what the dangers might be. Men in love can be extraordinarily incautious and willing to give up everything. Men in love lose their heads—at least for a while.

Emotionally Retarded Men in Love

About the only people more dangerous than philandering men going through life with an open fly and romantic damsels going through life in perennial distress, are emotionally retarded men in love. When such men go through a difficult transition in life, they hunker down and ignore all emotions. Their brain chemistry gets depressed, but they don’t know how to feel it as depression. Their loved ones try to keep from bothering them, try to keep things calm and serene and isolate them further.

An emotionally retarded man may go for a time without feeling pleasure, pain, or anything else, until a strange woman jerks him back into awareness of something intense enough for him to feel it—perhaps sexual fireworks, or the boyish heroics of rescuing her, or perhaps just fascination with her constantly changing moods and never-ending emotional crises.

With her, he can pull out of his depression briefly, but he sinks back even deeper into it when he is not with her. He is getting addicted to her, but he doesn’t know that. He only feels the absence of joy and love and life with his serenely cautious wife and kids, and the awareness of life with this new woman. It doesn’t work for him to leave home to be with her, as she too would grow stale and irritating if she were around full time.

What he needs is not a crazier woman to sacrifice his life for, but treatment for his depression. However, since the best home remedies for depression are sex, exercise, joy, and triumph, the dangerous damsel may be providing one or more of them in a big enough dose to make him feel a lot better. He may feel pretty good until he gets the bill, and sees how much of his life and the lives of his loved ones this treatment is costing. Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last long.

Men are able to approach sex more casually than women, a factor not only of the patriarchal double standard but also of the difference between having genitals on the outside and having them on the inside. Getting laid for all the wrong reasons is a lot less dangerous than falling in love with all the wrong people.

Men who get caught screwing around are more likely to be honest about the sex than women. Men will confess the full sexual details, even if they are vague about the emotions. Women on the other hand will confess to total consuming love and suicidal desire to die with some man, while insisting no sex ever took place. I would believe that if I’d ever seen a man describe the affair as so consumingly intense from the waist up and so chaste from the waist down. I assume these women are lying to me about what they know they did or did not do, while I assume that the men really are honest about the genital ups and downs—and honestly confused about the emotional ones.

Women are more likely to discuss their love affairs with their women friends. Philandering men may turn their sex lives into a spectator sport but romantic men tend to keep their love life private from their men friends, and often just withdraw from their friends during the romance.

On the other hand, women are not more romantic than men. Men in love are every bit as foolish and a lot more naive than women in love. They go crazier and risk more. They are far more likely to sacrifice or abandon their children to prove their love to some recent affaire. They are more likely to isolate themselves from everyone except their affair partner, and turn their thinking and feeling over to her, applying her romantic ways of thinking (or not thinking) to the dilemmas of his increasingly chaotic life.


So many triggers~

It’s no wonder there are so many triggers out there and that sick to your very being when they hit. The last email I posted, she wrote…” I thought you were caught and it was going to start all over again”. I was still in a cloud at that time, still trying to breath. I didn’t even know about the emails yet. I’m sorry folks but has been a long 7 years. Supposedly this will ease, yes I function better but it can all go it to  the toilet at a moments notice. Sitting together on the couch and a movie pops off with a comment, or  I turn and look at him and can see it all unfolding like a movie. I don’t think I could list all the triggers. Maybe I should try one of these nights.