Amber, uh oh what happened to sweetheart?
You might not be offended (your latest responses appear to dictate otherwise), but now I am deeply offended. After all we have been through I would like to know when were you planning to tell me about your decision? Why didn’t you talk to me first? Were you just going to let me continue to email/chat until I got tired of your failing to respond. You’ve written that I was breaking our agreement because I wanted to chat more than once a week. Apparently, you wanted to go the opposite direction and stop emailing all together, but you didn’t have the strength to mention it to me. It seems to me that in your actions have displayed a lack of concern for me and my feelings…and after all this has ended up costing me in the long run. Because of your clipped response on Sunday I was wondering what was the matter. I want to know what is really going on? Why didn’t you find away to talk at that time? Wifes nik name wasn’t there, so we could have talked. Then I got today’s email from you and noticed that it was also very clipped. Again, I have you to be honest with me and let me know what is really going on?
The last time we chatted you did not give me any indications that you wanted to stop emailing, matter of fact, I thought we were enjoying ourselves.
Now my doubts have reentering the picture. What were your true feelings for me? Was I just entertainment for the nights while your husband was asleep? I have been told by others that know about the situation that I should not read too much into our relationship because you move on leaving a wake of destruction. Obviously, you are not the same person that I spent my time getting to know and love.
There, I said my piece. I know that when we communicate by email we often misinterpret the meaning. If I have misinterpretted what is going on then I’m sorry, but I think I can read between the lines. If you feel I am not understanding what is going on and want to discuss this in person just let me know a time and place
From: Amber Her lastname<email@example.com>
Date: Thu, Jan 15, 2009 at 8:11 AM
|Husbands first name,
I am sorry to have hurt you. I was short on Sunday because pastor was watching. Why are you trying to jab at me? Wake of destruction? “Others” apparently don’t have any idea who I am. I don’t go around ruining things and I have no reputation of that except for this one thing with you. So I don’t know what you’re talking about and who “others” are. No, you were never a joke or cheap entertainment.
I have told you what’s really going on. I got convicted, that’s all. Nothing against you. I just have to change the way I was previously doing things. I am truly sorry for all the pain and hurt I’ve caused you and everyone. Please don’t turn this into something ugly. I’m trying to do the right thing here.
I didn’t have the strength to write you and tell you…you are right. I was planning on telling you when I had the strength to do so. Alot of deep introspection has been happening inside me and that’s why I wasn’t ready to say anything yet.
You are a wonderful person. I am sorry for the pain I’ve caused. I really am. I don’t want to be causing pain in anyone’s life anymore. Please forgive me if you can.
I just finished reading your email and at this time I don’t know what to think, say,do, or believe. At least a couple of times a week, including last night, Wife reminds me that I need to deal with my feelings for you. Obviously haven’t been able to do so. Yes, I am hurt. I do have to apologize for the tone of my email, but your chosing to communication by email was taking the easy way out and a cheap way of conveying a message of this nature to somebody you proclaimed to love… thus my doubts. I understand that a person should sleep on things before responding to hurtful things. I probably shouldn’t have answered last night, or even at this time, but should have waited a couple of days. It is just at this particular time this was the last thing I needed. Maybe I should just shut up.